I'm not ready to make nice [OPEN]

[Shendeth Evans]

This was more than a simple yes or no question. He hesitated as he considered how best to form an answer, and if he was even going to give an honest answer at all. Shendeth had no optimistic reply to give, nor what one might expect from someone both young and 'immortal'. Just a definite yes. He looked at Bijou with a humorless smirk.

"I've wished I was dead. I've tried to do it. Others have almost succeeded." He spoke quietly and shook his head.
"So what if I'm more powerful now? Nobody's more powerful than death. Every time.. every time I kill someone, I think of how easily that could be me. I almost envy them."

When you saw a lot of death, the question was not if but when. Life with the Cirque right now was just fine. He wasn't going to shoot himself right before her eyes.. but what was life? A constant struggle to hold on to itself when death was inevitable? It didn't mean anything. So he wasn't going to rush one or the other, but come what may. He was done with the suspense.

[Bijou Wilks]

Bijou sighed, her answer was allot like his. She thought about death allot, her first memory being almost meeting Death himself. "My very first memory is of death. They say you block out your past to try and protect yourself from pain." Bijou looked him dead in the eye, "Yet every night I'm so afraid to fall asleep because I know exactly whats going to happen. I'll relive the one memory I have left and wake up in Drakes arms." Almost every one knew that Bijou only had a years worth of memories to call her own, but few knew that she remembered the very night before Mr.Tall had found her with burn marks from her wrists to her shoulders.

[Shendeth Evans]

Shendeth fell silent, listening to Bijou's reflections without comment. The way she spoke aroused his curiosity, and he wondered what that first, terrible memory of hers was. It must be horribly strange to wake up with no memory of knowledge of who you were, and only one hellish scene for a clue. So often he had tried to shut everything out. He had started drinking for that purpose. But he would never want that to happen; he wanted to ease the pain, but make sure he never forgot it. Shendeth had too much wrath for that. He understood about the nightmares; how many times had he woken suddenly in the middle of the night, shaking in fear? Yet he was never afraid to fall asleep. Dreams were not the real thing. They could be woken up from; life could not be. "The past made us who we are. It's the future we've got to worry about."